Birka was this past weekend! This is not a post about that. This is a post about last Birka. Yup. That’s how on the ball I am about these things.
So last year my dear friend Antonii was getting knighted. I’d called dibbs on either writing his scroll or heralding him into court before this was ever a concern. However someone else also called dibbs. When Antonii got his writ he approached us both and told us to fight it out and sort it between ourselves. And sort it we did. Sir Ryouko’jin of the Iron-Skies and I determined the only proper way to settle this was a Japanese vs Saxon poetry rap battle.
Picture if you will, an over six foot tall man wearing a Japanese straw raincoat and hat. Striding in before a line of impressively dressed people, speaking at a volume that demands attention.
Among island ducks
At rest lay the wolf of black
Schooled by skulls of three
Raised through banquet and battle
A future proud and true
The wolf on crusade
Bound to wills not his heart
Found his way westward
Bathing in its radiance In the sun of the faithful.
And then in the middle of this impressive display, one very tiny Saxon woman steps in front of the throne, hands on her hips and does the poetic version of ‘sit down before you hurt yourself’. Because I have shitty self preservation skills.
Me: Paltry and pale / the Praise you give!
Be still, whilst I / Speak his wordfame.
When wolf wakes the sky / weeps in his path,
Conqueror now / Comes before you.
Now Tempered steel
Son of Boar and Dragons Claws
The Tyger, the wolf
Carries the storm within his blade
Prince of Mists the Rainbringer!
Heavenly Helga / He ruled beside.
Brows bound in / bright Mist-ring.
Honor of East / Upheld and prized
Defended by /Foreign shore prince.
Now conquest his name
He returns in full vanity
Besting fellow wolves
Champion to Tyger kings
Proof, best let sleeping wolves lie.
And that’s how you settle a ‘who is boasting this guy in’ dispute. And then promptly forget to do the write up until a year later.